I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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