Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
