If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
