called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
