I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
