My room smells like vodka and shame
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
