Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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