Where did you get a picture of my penis
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
