holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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