I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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