i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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