They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
