The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
