The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
