Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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