yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
