New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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