She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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