carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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