Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think your dad took our porno
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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