I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They took my balls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
