Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
