I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
