I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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