she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
