we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
