I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
