He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
