have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
