How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
