if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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