Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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