For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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