Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
