He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
