Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
