but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i now understand why vodka
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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