If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
