Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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