Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
