I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
