Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
