Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
