Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
