His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
