i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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