WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
