By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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