So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
