Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
