Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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