i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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