I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
