Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
