Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
